Cozy Tozy

I diagnosed myself with narcolepsy. WebMD has given me enough reason to believe I have been stricken with the non-curable disease. But beware I am forewarning you do not type your symptoms on their website for a self-diagnosis!! Days later you will trifle through your entire 401k on thousands of tests because you bear every ailment that corresponds hook line and sinker with some unimaginable disease only found in the South American rainforest and you haven't even been out of the country! All things aside I am narcoleptic, here's the evidence.  Happens between ages 15-25 CHECK! Just inquire my high school sweetheart's testimonial; he spent more time with me unconscious on the couch than conscious. Excessive daytime sleepiness CHECK! There is no point in time when I incapable of catching some zzz's. As soon as I glance at a pillow I am dormant like a bear hibernating for the winter. I feel exhausted just saying the word pillow. Don't ever invite me to watch a movie because my eyelids will be stuck together more than a cemented barnacle on a boat before the opening credits even finish. There's no point in nudging me awake because even if I give my best shot my lids will strain and flutter and struggle to stay peeled, but before you can count to fifteen I will be comatose. No matter how hard I clash, combat, and contest my somnolent spirit I will always surrender the battle and fall into a slumber.

Now this syndrome has been passed down from my mother who can be found snoozing on the couch anytime it is remotely past dusk. So when days are short and the winter sun sets at 5 pm you can only imagine the kind of sleep patterns in this cave!! My mom also bestowed upon me the "one-sock" disorder. The symptoms include sacking out with two socks on and mysteriously at the cockcrow jumping out of bed with one sock on. My feet must battle and buck, roughhouse and rumble each other until the champion arises toasty and snug in its sock while the other whimpers out in the stinging Siberian stratosphere. The other symptom of this disease keeps you from ever finding your sock (unless you are savvy on black hole locating) and inflicts you to meander and shuffle through the glacial hardwood hallways for the entire morning.

Now if you have inherited this dreadful disease as well, don't you fret because I have unearthed a solution!!!

These socks not only stay on your tosies, but they look absolutely adorable too!! I paired them with a couple outfits and got oodles of compliments! They were on extreme mark down at Target. You know when the markdown stickers are layered so thick its impenetrable enough to suffice as a bulletproof vest. I don't think you could guess the price even if I exclaimed "Come on down!!" and you were in a nonsensical costume playing for the grand prize with some hottie patottie showcasing her bod and the showcase right in front of you!  Drum roll please........... 75 cents!!! See even if you had the lowest bid of one dollar you still would have went home boohooing!!

I doubt these are still at target, but if you want to stay warm and cozy for the holidays and look like a delicious candy cane then you can visit Happy Socks, who have second to none socks in the world!! So go ahead and let the feet battle it out you'll always wake up with both socks on!